Marigolds

Luke 12:28  And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't He more surely care for you? 

God has surely cared for me. Through flood and drought and day and night, He continues to water me and prune me and gently unfold each blossom of beauty He has put inside of me. 

My marigolds grow big and full when they are pinched. When the dead blooms are removed it causes them to blossom all the more. I have to remove the dead stuff to get to the beauty. God does the same for me, for you. But there is one difference, we have to allow it. My marigolds don't really have a choice if I pinch them, but I can ignore God's work in my life if I so choose. Removal of the dead stuff can be painful and scary because it is what I am used to. But when I trust my Father and allow His work to be done, I am never let down by the results. In fact, I become more free and begin to bloom the way He had in mind for me to bloom all along.

I have often thought that I need to be doing something all the time for this blossoming to happen and to make my life purposeful. It never works out that way. Sure, some good things happen and I may feel productive or as though I have earned another day, but I have not often rested in the Lord and trusted in Him to do the work. I have not often just sat and worshiped Him, and watched in awe, forgetting myself. 
I am learning though. Learning as I let go of my own ideas of what my purpose may be. Learning as I trust Him more and more to do the work. He is the master gardener after all. Not me. 

As I was pinching my marigolds this morning, I thought, "Perhaps this is my purpose today..." To do nothing more than pinch marigolds and talk to my Father and pray for my family and friends. It is most likely that much more got accomplished than if I had run around all day wearing myself out. 
This is not an entirely new concept for me, but it is one I have not really understood until just recently due to stress related physical problems.

As I begin to learn to rest and allow God to do the work, I am seeing much better results than when I was laboring, trying to make things happen. Amazing right? Well not really, of course! I am finding the real me in the process. The one created by God, not the one reacting to the world around me. Perhaps if  I let Him take off all the dead stuff I will bloom for Him the way He intended and He will be glorified.
Perhaps I have nothing to do at all except to let Him work and water and pinch. And love Him!

VOMIT

My chiropractor, Dr. Barrington, keeps a white board up in the lobby with general health info, news and encouraging things on it.

This is the sign I saw as I walked into his office the other day. 

So, of course I said it out loud and looked at him questionably.

With a secretive, knowing grin, he took me back for my adjustment and told me his intention with the sign was to remind him to ask his patients this question:

"If you go out to a nice dinner and then come home and two hours later you are sick and vomiting, would you say you are healthy or sick?" I knew it must be a trick question but I went with the obvious anyways and answered, "I would have to say sick- but probably from food poisoning." Well of course that was the wrong answer, but partially correct. He went on to explain that because it WAS food poisoning and my body was getting rid of the offensive intruder, that means I am healthy because my body was doing what it was supposed to do.

Ahhh, of course. Makes sense, right? He went on to apply that to how chiropractic care 

( which has been close to miraculous for me, I should add ) works and how the body is wonderfully made to heal itself when things are opened up and flowing correctly. 

 

Now, I HATE vomiting. It is something I will avoid if at all possible. Besides the awful sick feeling, it also makes me feel out of control. So for me, this was an important new perspective. I should not try to stand in the way of my body's natural way of healing itself.

As I went on with my day, another application occurred to me. My pastors wife had encouraged me through my grief process to write all my feelings out- she called it vomiting on paper. I did a couple of times, but I wanted to avoid the out of control sick feeling that thinking about all the hard stuff gives me.  Thinking about this, I realized I have the same aversion to expressing strong emotions as I do to vomiting. Dr. Barrington's analogy certainly applies here as well. Letting go of all the ugly emotions inside may make me feel like I am sick, but would actually mean I was healthy and functioning correctly by expelling them. This is also why God gave us tears, we are more healthy when they flow. I struggle with this because I am not healthy emotionally, I do not function as intended for various reasons. This insight has been extremely helpful to me however, and I am praying that God will heal me and help me stop fighting against vomiting all that hard stuff, even if it means feeling out of control occasionally.

In order to get my body adjusted and working properly again, I went to Dr. Barrington three times a week for quite awhile, now I only go twice, and soon I will probably just have to maintain once a week. If the analogy follows through I could start by going to God ( the spiritual chiropractor) a few times a week in prayer just for the purpose of expressing all that hard stuff inside, letting it all out to Him who knows it is all there anyways, reading the Bible and allowing Him to adjust my spirit as my earthly emotions are released. Perhaps in time then I will have less and less need for adjustment ( not less need for God!) and my spirit will function the way it was intended to. 

It all makes perfect sense, doesn't it? 

I love how God works through people and whiteboards!

Five Minutes

Can I have five minutes of your time?

I was coerced by a very good friend of mine to join a running group called Couch Potato to 5k. I had not run for close to a year. I also had been having recurring joint and muscle pain issues and did not think I was up to it, but that is another story. I decided to give it a try.  The first week was encouraging- they started off nice and slow. We would walk to warm up, do some stretching, and then alternate walking and jogging for 20 minutes. The longest we jogged at a time was two minutes. Second week was a bit more challenging because we were up to three minute jogging intervals, and this was feeling more like work. Week three workout  number seven was a shocker. They did not even tell us ahead of time what we were going to do, probably fearing we would all say "yeah, right, I'm going home now!" We walked and warmed up and stretched and then we started jogging. Jogged three minutes, walked 90 seconds. Okay. Jogged again. Jogged for what was beginning to feel like forever. Walked, jogged, walked and jogged forever again. When it was all over, and we were still alive they told us- the two long intervals had been five minutes. What were they thinking? That was an awful lot to ask, so soon, from us couch potatoes! But we made it, and now with four more weeks under our belts and running for 30 minutes at a time now, it seems so silly. Five minutes? Ha! That's nothing!
Well it all got me thinking about perspective again and how it changes with our experience and circumstance. Five minutes is a lifetime and five minutes is a flash of lightning. Both are true.
Is that why in the Bible it says that to God a thousand years is like a day? If you have been around forever, then a thousand years could be like a day. A thousand years? Ha! That's nothing!
When we are in heaven and around for eternity, our whole lives here will feel as though they were a blink of an eye. Eighty years! Ha! That's nothing.
I will try to remember that when I am missing Amanda.
I will try to remember that when I have five minutes to spare; five minutes to enjoy the moment.
Can it possibly be that if I keep running pretty soon thirty minutes will feel like nothing? To marathoners I am sure thirty minutes is just a warmup! Just a thought....

It's hot!

It’s been hot…and muggy…for days now. Perhaps I should be viewing it as an opportunity to sweat out all the toxins in my body. I, however, have been retreating to the shelter of my air conditioning for the most part, and I feel almost as housebound as I do in the middle of winter. It is beginning to depress me. Am I lacking vitamin D in the middle of the summer? Yikes.

Now, am I really so spoiled? Oh boy, it would seem so. Oh my, the heat and the humidity and the hot flashes and all; getting me depressed? It seems ridiculous that I could be so easily distracted.

Fed up with the four walls around me, I decided to brave the outdoors this evening and sit out on the deck. I opened the patio door and left the cool air inside for the thick, humid air full of insect noises. The smallest of breezes, it must feel like this in the jungle. I sat at the table and opened my lap top to write.

After acclimating for the time it has taken me to write this, it doesn’t feel all that bad. The sun is down and it is actually a pretty evening.

Satan can use anything to get us complaining and focusing on ourselves. In my case lately I guess it is the heat. Hot days, hot flashes, oh I am tired of being hot. Waah, waah. I have become so focused on it, it is time for a perspective adjustment! I am fortunate enough to have an air conditioned home and vehicle for relief. But at times I think having these things only makes the heat seem more intense when going in and out. What would I do if I lived in the jungle? I am so amazed people can live in such a climate, often without electricity at all. Yikes. 

Do you suppose they complain and say,” Oh this heat is just depressing me!”? Do you suppose they stop functioning because it’s “ just too hot” to do anything today?

Like my husband says, “Time to Ranger up!”

Lord, please forgive me. I have spent days now being non-productive and I have had a complaining spirit because of a small amount of discomfort. Please help me snap out of it and change my perspective, keeping me focused on you. Help me to view the warmth as a gift, and even if it is difficult for me to tolerate, help me to look beyond it, laughing and loving, rather than moaning and grumbling.

I pack up and go back in the house,,,,brrrr...

Happiness quiz

Exactly what is happiness and where does it come from?

If it is missing can it be found just by changing  perspective?

If so then, is it really a choice, a way of  DECIDING how to view things, or what things to view?

Is it denial?

Like Nightline is saying tonight, can you become happier, nicer and more peaceful just by learning how to meditate?

If a person is happy, are they ignoring all of the suffering and sadness in the world? Are they clueless?

Can I cry in sadness one moment and be happy the next?

Why is happiness something I want so badly?

Can I make it for myself, or is it given to me?

Do I have to wait for it to find me?

Is it in little things or big things?

Can happiness be found amid pain?

Why do different things make different people feel happy?

Is happiness better when shared?

I believe we were made by God to be happy and full of joy. I believe the world we live in now is fallen and full of sin and suffering, but while we are here we can learn to trust God and His goodness and His plan for our future and forever happiness.

John 16:33 says, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

God doesn't want us to remain focused on the problems of this world. We are told in Philippians 4:8, "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

And Hebrews 3:13 tells us to help each other so that we do not become bitter and hardened- "But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."

I believe that here on earth, no matter what happens, happiness can be found by choosing. Choosing to trust in Jesus. Choosing to be grateful and focus on good things, encouraging each other, until "today" becomes tomorrow- when Christ rids the world of sin and pain, and fills our hearts with only happiness forever.

Gratitude/ Mine

I made a list of things I am grateful for.

I am grateful for:

1.  My children  
2.  My husband 
3.  My home 
4. My time
5. My family  
6. My friends 
7.  My garden and yard 
8. My health 
9. My food
10.  My church
11. My Savior

Hmmmm....really, none of these things are MINE. Not one thing belongs to me.  If they are taken from me I have no right to anger, having no real possession of them.

Rather, I am grateful for:

1.  The children God has allowed me to raise and how they have taught me to love and to live.
2. The husband to lean on, that God is shaping with His love.
3. The temporary home I am living in, that provides shelter until I am truly home in heaven.
4.  The moments God allows me to have today, to live and glorify Him.
5. The family I am a part of, that helps to shape and support me.
6. The friends God has blessed me with, to share the journey.
7. God’s growing things, to enjoy and cultivate. 
8. Energy and strength, enough for fulfilling God’s plans.
9. The gift of a satisfied stomach.
10. A place, to worship God and learn more about Him.
11. Jesus, who has released me from sin and given me hope and a new life.

WAIT!!

 He is MY Savior, because He has said He will not leave me or forsake me. I cannot ever be without Him now that I am His. All else belongs to Him, but He also belongs to me! This is because He has made it so. Yes, Jesus is MINE.  That is what changes everything. I have no need to possess anything because I have Him and He has me.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

There really are "plenty of fish in the sea". At least trillions. We know of at least 25,000 different species with more being discovered all the time.
When I think about it, it boggles my mind.
I have sat at the ocean shore looking out at the vastness of it and was made peaceful inside by the motion of the waves, always coming. Now there is something you can count on!  If someone had not told me what was inside of those waves, underneath the surface for miles upon miles, I would never know. I would not venture out very far without becoming overwhelmed and heading back to the safety of the shore. But I do know at least some of what is out there, because people have ventured out seemingly unafraid to explore and they have shared their knowledge with us all. But as they venture out they just keep discovering more and more, seemingly with no end in sight. Will there come a day when we know we have discovered it all?
While standing on the beach looking out at the ocean, not in my wildest dreams could I have conjured up in my imagination anything close to what is actually out there. Could I have even come up with a simple fish? I don't know, it may have ended up looking like a dog or a bird, something I know already. And that is what is so terribly amazing to me. God came up with all of His creatures with a blank slate. Us included. How can I for one moment feel I have any importance at all? In the vastness of all the creatures and plants and microscopic things  here on just one little planet, what am I??? Does it matter? The ONLY thing that tells me I do matter is that my Creator Himself made Himself become one of us and lived and died to show me (and all people) that we matter- A LOT. (John 3:16) And, He imagined the rest of creation for us to tend to. There is endless fascination here, yet we create things to keep us busy. How odd.

The good thing about ticks?

What could be good about a tick?
My husband helped me discover this incredible perspective. I am quite sure I would have never recognized it without his help.

I woke up bleary eyed, went to the bathroom to wet down my head and wake up. As I was pushing the water around I felt something attached to the back of my neck. I could not see it but I instinctively knew what it was. A tick!!! Now, intellectually I know that you are supposed to be careful when removing ticks so their head does not get stuck in your skin. However, panic prevailed and I scratched it off immediately. It just had to be off that instant, you understand! Ugh- Yuck- Nasty!! There it was in the bathtub- thankfully with its head still attached to itself. The remainder of my day was spent feeling nonexistent ticks all over my body. It did not help at all that I continued to find dead ones around the house. They must be hitching a ride on the dogs and then dying because of their Frontline treatments. (Why is there no Frontline for humans, anyways?)
Except for the one that survived and found its way to feed on my neck while I slept.
As I was going  through my day itching at myself and complaining about the AWFUL ticks, my husband, in his non-plussed way of dealing with such things as insects, said to me, "Well, the good thing about ticks is that you can see them and they just keep getting bigger until you can't miss them."
Okay. Really?
"Yeah, that's a great thing about ticks," I thought and said sarcastically.
But the more I thought about it, I had to admit the truth in his statement, or at least recognize the perspective.
Imagine, I thought, if ticks just buried themselves, unseen under your skin and fed on you until there was next to nothing left and you never knew it until it was far too late. You knew it was there, but you could never find it! Yep THAT would be worse. There actually are unseen parasites, so I suppose there is an argument that in the bug world there are creepier things.
Deep breath...
Okay, so as I think about it I begin to relax a little bit. I stop seeing ticks everywhere and I am able to proceed with caution through my daily routine. As I relaxed and got on with things, I was able to make some connections with this strange train of thought that ticks could be good. I was thinking: it's too bad the "ticks" in our lives are not as easily recognized and as heartily removed as the real thing. The attitudes we have, and the things we do or possess that we allow to suck our life blood are not always as easily spotted, or indeed frantically gotten rid of. Sometimes those "ticks" have to become extremely engorged before we recognize them. In fact, the removal may even become painful because they have become so much a part of us and how we do things. Are you picturing with me the person walking around with an enormous tick attached to their neck, oblivious? Perhaps God gave us ticks for illustrative purposes. Could it be that we can learn something useful from the tick? While I ruminate on this new found perspective I wonder if I will come to appreciate the little insects. Maybe even see one and say thank you?
Probably not.